extremely tired

todae played soccer after dw told me he's not coming and alvin's gg to kovan to playt instead... ,y stamina went down alot, cos did not exercise for quite a long time regularly ever since i've been graded pes c... but todae i completely tire out juz after one match as an outfield... and my heartbeat stays above 100 per min even after two hours... really exhausted... but tat match not bad, we won 2-0... although i didnt really contribute much but stayed at the back and ensure the defence is there...

went for driving, not bad and was on the road at 60km/h at one time... but still got prob starting off at main road...

tired... gg sleep le... phew....

so late le

can't seem to fall asleep... lie in bed and toss and turn and turn, till need to shit, went to shit, den came online for a while...

it's been sometime since i can't get into sleep... rarely does this happen...

if onli, the next day, i wake up at 530, brush teeth, wash face, go makan bread or maggi cooked by mum, go shit, change into uniform, quickly pack bag, throw everything inside, go downstairs and dad drive me to college, alight at bus stop, wait for her, walk to sch, assembly, classes, break, classes, lunch, classes, lesson end, meet her, wait for her cca to end, acc her home, take bus home, alight near xinmin pri, hav dinner alone at coffeeshop, walk home, bath, feel tired, talk to her on phone, go to sleep....

smoking out

got off for yest and went for a driving lesson in the morning... wasn't a really interesting one, and due to the long break from the past two lessons i took, it's onli revising wat i learnt earlier... still not very familiar wif the system, changing gear, engaging the clutch, steering, etc... sigh.. really got alot to learn... blame on myself as i did not go through in my mind wat to do during all the processes... got kinda stunned when instructor ask me to change gear and i even forgot wat changing from first gear to second feels like... really useless me...

after tat i went to the library in hougang mall and applied for a library, and actually wanted to borrow some books on sociology, which i couldn't manage to find... unwilling to leave the libraray empty-handed, i grabbed a book named 'science at the edge' and headed home... tink i wun complete the book three weeks later, but nvm...

played dota on battlenet at home.... keep ownning by other ppl.. hahaa... i'm new to the game, a perfect noob for others to kill... but when my teammates were good and we win the game, i often top score cos i kill alot of creeps...

todae went for cybersmart course in the morning at oeti.. quite informative as they touch on stuff like security on the net and abt spyware, adware, hacking, etc... den wwent home in the afternoon instead of returning to camp.. hahaa...

the days of ns life pass so insignificantly... at the of the day nothing much is achieved... really muz choing driving now... aiming to pass by end of year... den at least i've done something...

realised in branch my reputation is one of willing to do work and will to sacrifice personal time for it... well, this is not me, can still remember in jc days where i smoke out really often.... tat's when i want time wif someone... now tat there's no someone in my life, wat's the point of booking out for a few hours, wat's the point of pushing for work to be done so i can go home?

sometimes i wish it can be as easy as meeting someone in the street and den we'll be lovers the rest of our lives...

sigh, back to reality, tomolo another driving lesson.. hope things turn out better for me...

will buy myself a bmw if i can afford one in the future and if i can drive.. hahaa... hope so... this will be my motivation to work hard when i go uni...

NONO signing off

data not lost

when u delete something in ur com, in its hard disk it is still there..... only when u install new programmes and add more stuff den the new data overwrites the old one....

i'm so broke to buy new softwares for my com....

the begining is so near to the end

the title describes my weekend... it starts on sat 2100 hrs when i booked out and ended today at 0930 hrs when i booked in.. in between i played a few rounds of dynasty warriors when got home late yest before i myself get knocked out at 0030 hrs... den morning went wif dad to hawker centre near euos mrt, den took train and bus to camp..

tat's how my weekend is spent..

juz now went online to sign petition against VS going co-ed... tink it is really a stupid idea...

the decision muz be made by majority of us victorians, and if this is so i can see that the co-ed idea is never going to happen..

the victorian spirit is the reason why i will nv ever regret joining VS, and this victorian spirit will become another thing when co-ed plan goes underway... it will never be the same thing again..

destroying our identity and forgoing our tradition in exchange for academic results solely is never acceptable.. the principal and other staff who came up wif the idea are only concerned wif academic results, but if VS really goes co-ed and become no 1 in singapore, i'll juz be another top school to me... not my VS anymore.... and i'm sure many other victorians tink tat way.. either tat or they did not take VS as MY VS before..

and to tink tat VJ are even tinking of changing sch song of the part where it contains 'thy sons are we'.... isn't it ridiculous when u look on the account tat VJ was set up for VS guys? and now we are going co-ed to make it for us to be feeder sch for VJ... tat's so wrong... VJ should look at its roots and where it originate from....

NONO signing off

finally i'm off

was on off yest and today i'm on course... feels so shiok after working like a bull... no, like a mad bull...

anyway, slacked my time away without doing any really helpful stuff... didnt even feel like playing bball to sweat a bit... most of the time was playing dynasty warriors 5.. feels good going around and killing enemy soldiers like cutting grass... hahaa.... good way to destress... but in the chaos difficulty mode, finally got KO even though i use zhao yun who's stat had been maxed already... damn tough, can't even find a decent food to recover health throughout the game...

and the course i went, together wif one ssg from my unit, wasn't very fruitful... understood the first part of the leture b4 gg for lunch, and tot everything's gg to be easy... in the afternoon i really cannot tahan, my eyebrows were trying to push my eyelids up... no effect... looks like most of the blood goes to the stomach to aid in digestion.... didnt really fell asleep but wasn't awake either... i tried my best le.....

two good days spent away so fast... and i've achieved nothing... sigh... i'm juz waiting for time to pass, for me to ORD.... dun even feel like going driving lessons now....

still tinking of which course to take in U. should take science or bioengineering? should take life science or physics???? oh no.... i need a dice here....

NONO signing out... feels like gg batam when i clear leave... over there totally no stress... fun all day wif no expenses...

i dun wanna close my eyes...

feeling sleepy now, but tink still hav to bear a while more b4 i can go to dreamland... entering slow motion mode, in both actions and thoughts...

dunno how, but anyhow, time really flies again when i'm occupied wif work and, its the middle of aug b4 i can notice it began.. oh no... wat i'm handling now seems to be very important, something tat can land me in deep shit anytime... really hope everything turns out to be fine, even though i hav a bad feeling... tat somewhere dunno where i made a mistake or dunno wat... aiya, dun hav time to tink of these things le... now i'll juz do wat i can and the rest, leave it to luck, fate and destiny... everything is juz not right..

looking back at where i had been in the past, can't believe i am where i am now... and looking at wat i am now, dunno wat i'll be in the future.... will history repeat????

the best memories bring the most sadness...

NONO signing off

so unreluctant, but do i hav a choice?

this weekend is a short one for me who dun even hav any duty.. spent large part of the day on sat in camp, booking out wif work still undone and today hav to book in earlier to finish them.. dunno why, i'm feeling really tired whenever it comes to work in camp.. i dun hav the motivation and drive to do things well now... juz wan to anyhow get them over and done wif... i'm so tired.... i pity myself... if i'm in my officer's shoe, i wouldn't demand a clerk of private rank, receiving a pay of 350 bucks per month, to work through the night wif me... i dun complain, i dun ask for offs, doesn't mean i love doing work....

NONO booking in soon...

i try so hard, and yet so far.......

how far is far, how high is high
u'll nv noe until u try
and when u try u'll realise
that far is not far, high is not high.....

here in my camp
i miss life

time flies, but for i i'll prefer it can teleport...

it's another sunday and tomolo's gg to be start of another week.. it had been a very busy week and tomolo we're gg back to branch to settle stuff tat's rather urgent and important.. when i look at wat's undone i wonder whether there's enough time to get them all done... maybe we are able to complete everything juz in time, but i guess even if so there's gg to be alot of gaps and holes in the construction of our agenda... sigh.... although it's two years and den i'll hav nothing got to do wif them, but i really hav to put in effort and slog.. it's not as if i hav a choice, it's not as if i like it.. it dislike everything tat i'm doing now... they're draining my energy away, leaving me feeling so shag and wanting to do nothing at all other than sleep and sit in front of tv and game console whole weekend... i'm feeling tired now... and it's not as if i'll be awarded handsomely for the work tat i've done.. now i can't even look forward to my two offs tat i can consume, for i'll rather opt for two more days of work day per week now to finish my work... they're very different than not doing school work... the teacher wun scold like my superior do...

i wonder whether scolding is a good way to get things done the way u want it... this kind of instilling fear as a motivation..... nobody will like it...

hope that very very soon all these will be over... and i'll want to hav nothing got to do wif them...

i want a break.... long long break.....

NONO signing off

looking forward to the end......

damn sian, damn shagged.... hav been doing alot of work these days, till very late... can't wait to book out tomolo, can't wait for this whole thing to end, can't wait to ORD... sigh...

been tinking, wat i've been doing now, would it be similar to wat i will be doing in the future when i get a job?? no no, i'll nv such a job... but den, who noes whether i'll get sick the job even if i like it at the start, and den doing it would feel like doing wat i'm doing now...

oh right now, onli wan to book out, go home, sleep alot, play dynasty warriors alot...

i can see the near future, the days of next week and the week after, as days i rather stay in a coma and bypass.... dunno how they're gg to be enjoyable, other than the national day itself....

lotsa mountains to climb.... and i'm not a mountaineer!!!!!

NONO signing off

in spring, flowers blossom
birds fly freely
i'm still waiting
waiting for my love